Crazy crazy Englsih

Our app will eventually help people master speaking all popular languages of the world (YAY for our ambitions!). As you know, we decided to start with probably the most practical language to learn — with English.

While preparing the best content for our speaking app we stumbled upon a great book about English language by R. Lederer called “Crazy language”.  A little quotation will prove just how damn crazy this language is:

Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going.English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, shouldn’t  preachers have praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

So what can we make of all this? Just that there is no need to worry! Also, that you should take all the difficulties with a smile and blame it on Englsih being stupid!

Loving Englsih with all our hearts,
Talkio team

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